Media Mumma

My sister asked me to post this for her on Baby Loss Awareness day. I think this is worth a read for everyone. ❤️

One of the problems with todays society is how judgemental people are, especially when they hide behind social media platforms. This adds to the difficulty some people feel when it comes to talking about baby loss.

When Chrissy Teigen recently shared the news of losing her baby along with photos, there were a number of unpleasant comments regarding the loss not being kept private. Instead of the news sparking conversations about how terrible baby loss is and how little is known about it, people instead focussed on discussing if the couple should have taken photos and then shared them. So many people will have seen the negative comments from others and will have felt that they would be wrong to share their stories too.

The news story inevitably led to my husband and I talking about our experience and how lucky we were to have our little miracle this year. We lost 4 babies prior to this and we both recalled a couple of the more painful memories. He vividly remembers us sitting in a car park after work as I broke the news to him that I was losing another pregnancy. On this occasion we agreed we would manage it at home, especially as it was a cold October night and we didn’t fancy another journey to A&E. By the early hours of the morning we realised we needed to get to hospital quickly as I was losing a tremendous amount of blood and was passing out. The usual mixture of patients were in A&E and we were told to wait in the waiting room where I ended up passing out whilst waiting to be seen.

This miscarriage was our third, I had attempted to get help through our GP after the second but we were told we would have to wait until we had lost 3 babies in a row. We also tried to go private but we got the same response. Some people suggested we just say we had experienced 3 to get some help, but that just didn’t sit right with us after what we knew it meant. Having to have 3 miscarriages before you can get help is madness when you take in to account the physical impact on women and the mental health impact on all involved.

Despite losing 2 pregnancies we really did believe the third was to be successful. After the 3rd miscarriage we did receive help from both the NHS and privately but advice was so varied with one doctor telling us I needed surgery and then another strongly contradicting it. We had to be relentless in our search for answers and were left doubting our decisions.

And then there’s the information that no-one tells you. We never imagined we would lose a baby, let alpne 4. When I was discharged from hospital after the first miscarriage no-one told us that there would be a point where you literally pass the foetus/embryo. The result was a horrific experience at home coupled with fear as we didn’t understand what was happening. It had a lasting impact on me.

We also found that every ward or ultrasound room was either next to a maternity ward or you had to go past one to get there. You could literally hear newborn babies crying as you were losing your own. This is so cruel.

We know we are extraordinarily lucky to have our little one. The pregnancy wasn’t straight forward with us convinced we had lost him on the same day that our nephew was born, but this turned out to just be an isolated bleed. I clearly remember the A&E doctor holding my hand and telling me to not give up hope, shortly after that the bleeding stopped. We were fortunate enough to be able to pay for additional scans throughout the pregnancy as we were told we couldn’t have any additional ones beyond 12 weeks on the NHS.

Our son was born at the peak of the coronavirus pandemic and despite being in hospital alone as I recovered from an emergency cesarean section, I was in this amazing little bubble. I had programmed myself to believe this would never happen, we hadn’t put any scan photos up and had brought very little. I just stupidly thought anything like that would tempt fate.

I once saw some artwork that perfectly summed up the journey. There were three paintings of the same women, one showing her grieving, one showing her with empty arms cradling an imaginary baby and one showing her with a baby holding it ever so tight. I feel the absence of the children we have lost and I hold my son so closely. My heart goes out to all those who have had the added heartbreak of dealing with a loss during the pandemic restrictions and without even their partner by their side. How can we be living in a world where we are able to go to the pub but in some areas parents to be are prohibited from hearing the news that their baby has died?

I will finish with mentioning the work of Professors Arri Coomarasamy, Quenby and Brosens (amongst others) who work tirelessly to find the causes of miscarriage. Their work on progesterone in early pregnancy was published last year and it was this new advice that we followed and we believe helped us have our son. I’d strongly advise others after a loss, who feel ready, to research their work and ask your GP for a referral to a specialist. Unfortunately there are very few specialist miscarriage clinics which is why these awareness weeks are so important, particularly now when all the focus from media and politicians is regarding the pandemic. Issues like this need action to prevent unnecessary suffering. If this area of medicine received the attention it is due with interventions for women sooner many unborn childrens lives could be saved.

Charlotte Byrne

So I have not exactly kept on top of this blog! But I’m here now!

I promised to start this as a small insight to what I get up to now learning to work while being a Mum. It feels a bit self indulgent to be truthful but I’m continually surprised by the interaction I get on social media so I thought maybe it might be a nice read.

The season has restarted and I feel so fortunate to be back working. It’s such an uncertain time and I take nothing for granted. I’m also very lucky to be able to dovetail my work with my husbands. He works from home as an imaging producer so when I have a last minute call or work during the day then most of the time he is able to be with Zac. In the last week I’ve worked for BBC Radio 5Live, Soccer Saturday, Sky Sports News and Aston Villa and been to Watford, Birmingham (a few times!), Newport, Bristol City twice and Forest Green. The miles are wracking back up on my car again!

Chatting to Jack Grealish below, he signed his new contract this week and I was lucky enough to do the first interview…

This last year has flown by. I know it’s been such a struggle for many of us, for a lot of Zac’s life he has lived in lockdown. The day before I was due back working football was cancelled. It wasn’t until mid June I returned for the first time since October. Looking back I do really value the time I had with Zac, but I was mentally prepared to work again. It’s not easy looking after a baby, it’s more than a full time job! It’s not selfish to want a little bit of you back, and having work again has been wonderful. I will contradict myself and say how much I miss him when I’m doing long days! I worry I’ll miss something as he seems to be doing something new every week at the moment! He turns one next month, our little boy lights up our world (despite the lack of sleep). I’ve never known a love like it and feel incredibly lucky to be able to balance work around trying to be a great Mummy for him. With a lot of matches being in the evening it often means we get most of the day and on a Saturday he tags along with his Dad to help out at our local club. Although I am not sure how much help he is with my husband’s coaching…

I chose to be freelance, and it’s a risky but rewarding choice. The last couple of weeks have been very busy. I had some disappointing news about the podcast I started 3 years ago, Robins On The Wire. Now I’ve found several companies interested in backing it which means we are all systems go for the first week of October. I was surprised by the reaction and delighted that somehow I’ve become a trusted broadcaster!

Even more to my surprise, Martin Samuel mentioned me today in his widely regarded Daily Mail column. Lots of people sent it to me and I’m very flattered. I absolutely love working on Soccer Saturday, there’s been a lot of noise around it lately and naturally I was sad to see Charlie, Thomo and Tiss leave. Sadly nothing lasts forever and I’m excited for what the season has in store, and so pleased Jeff and Jules continue at the helm as well as the fantastic team behind the scenes.

Hopefully we get to see this season through, I truly believe football brings people together in a unique way. I did a shoot for Sky Sports News on fans returning this week. If you ask any of my family or friends they will testify I’ve been incredibly cautious through covid, but if we can safely get fans back through the gates we must before clubs go out of business.

Thanks for reading. Sadly my Bristol Live column is no more due to covid freelance cuts, so if anyone would like to get in touch about me doing some writing then please do!

As I sit on the sofa with Zac asleep on my chest I am filled with a lot of worry like many people right now. My thoughts of course are with those who are fighting this horrible Coronavirus and those who’ve lost love ones. Boris Johnson’s stark warning that we will lose loved ones this week was not great leadership, in Ireland the headline was together we will save lives.

Since becoming a Mum to Zac naturally I worry more, like every parent I just want him to be ok. In the pharmacy this week someone peered over his pram and informed me his rain cover was bad for his eyes. Obviously it had been raining, but I also informed her it helped to stop people breathing over him like she was! She told me it’s fine under 10s don’t get it, it being Coronavirus. Yet she was in the age bracket we are told is most affected, seemingly unaware he could pass it to her. It was a weird moment, an unsolicited opinion in what are nervous times.

Right now I should be driving to Reading V Stoke returning to Soccer Saturday, like every Mum going back to work I had mentally prepared. Like so many freelancers and contractors I won’t be paid for games that I don’t cover and aren’t on. It is concerning as football is my livelihood and no one could have thought of this. There is no way the season should be null and void right now, health before wealth every time but there are options to finish the season which will be discussed in the coming weeks.

There’s an undeniable edgy atmosphere, I went shopping on Thursday and all I could hear was people talking about Coronavirus. A couple of older people said it will be over soon enough, I hope they’re right.

I’ve never been an overly anxious person but I’ve found myself having to switch off the news and try and not check social media as much. I’ve started checking Zac’s temperature a lot, his cheeks are often bright red as he’s feeding and constantly growing. In our Mum group we’ve agreed if we meet at all it will be only for walks outside.

My mother in law is in her 70s with several underlying health conditions. She’s been unwell so we’ve not seen her for a few weeks and now we’ve made the call to stay away. She doesn’t have the internet but we put her on the phone to Zac so she can hear him at least. We haven’t met my best friends baby as we feel we need to be careful. I didn’t go to 5 aside this week as I was concerned about the spitting and close contact, the day after we had a message saying it’s been cancelled for the foreseeable. This is not a time for complacency, not a time for sport. The latter is such a weird one because we use sport to unify in hard times. Thousands of livelihoods are affected, millions of people are worried so it’s a time to be kind to one another. We have to be so grateful to our NHS, those who are going to deal with the biggest health crisis of our generation.

I have liked the sense of humour shown in the face of adversity, as time goes on and this probably gets much harder I hope we can keep that. We need it now more than ever.

So please don’t be critical to people for overreacting, that doesn’t mean stockpiling loo roll. By the way what is that about? Worse case scenario you could just have a wash?! Please let’s look after each other. I worry in the months and years to come we will reflect and think perhaps initially we under reacted.

I enjoyed listening to the Happy Mum, Happy Baby podcast where Giovanna Fletcher had the Duchess of Cambridge as her guest. I found myself smiling and nodding along to much of it and as always feeling very lucky to have become a Mum. The Duchess also mentioned her extreme sickness and Hyperemesis and I was frustrated to see how what she said had been misconstrued online. One website said hypnobirthing helped her cope with it - which is not what she said at all, she acknowledged how awful HG is and how hypnobirthing was for helping with labour. I’m really proud to have become ambassador for Pregnancy Sickness Support and hope to raise a bit more awareness of how horrendous Hyperemesis is.

The podcast also mentioned how suicide is the biggest killer in new Mums. After the horrendous news about Caroline Flack this weekend it highlighted the need for us to talk and support one another. It feels such a fragile world right now, I can’t understand why people would make others feel worse about themselves. Why would someone sit down and type something offensive at best to another human? How terribly sad that someone takes their own life because they feel so utterly hopeless, and in their awful passing it’s so evident they were very loved. If only they could see that before it’s too late.

It was so tragic to hear on the podcast about suicide being the biggest killer in new Mums, then again our life has been turned upside down and I can absolutely see why anyone would struggle to get their head around the sleepless nights and the realisation that you are responsible for this tiny human. Just earlier this evening Zac was inconsolable, he hadn’t been like it for a few weeks since his colic has eased and the worry was just horrible as I couldn’t calm him. Luckily a warm bath calmed him and it seems he is teething.

Social media paints a picture of everyone doing brilliantly and I too am guilty of mainly just putting up the best bits. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves, whether as a parent it’s pressure to be perfect- although I’m pretty sure we are all making it up as we go along. I know I’m putting pressure on myself to lose my Mum tum especially for when I get back to work properly as it’s obviously quite a visible job! Then again my body made a person- how amazing is that? Why the rush? Really it’s a trivial thing to be concerned about. On the other hand a part of me thinks about someone I’ve never met commenting on how I look. That’s the society we live in. I believe the majority are kind, supportive and encouraging. Don’t be one of these people who hides behind a keyboard and dishes out hate. Just stop and imagine if it was aimed at you, or your Mum, or daughter, or brother or sister or Dad or loved one. I’ve seen so many people posting this message today, in a world that seems to be more fragile then ever don’t forget people are too- be kind.

Hope this photo raises a smile :)

“Say hello to the sun…” the music blared across the hall and my husband smirked at me and urged me to join in. I smiled. Normally on a Tuesday I’d be prepping for a Soccer Special but here I was with our little boy beside me pretending I knew the gestures to the baby song. Life has changed a lot since 23rd October 2019!

In fact Zac barely let me finish work, I walked out of the Liberty Stadium at 10pm on 22nd October and 6.5 hours later my waters broke spectacularly. I wasn’t meant to be on maternity for another 5 days with a couple more games and interviews to go. He was 4 weeks early but after a difficult pregnancy, especially the first half, I should have known there would be more twists. He was coming out feet first too which they only found out when I was 9cm dilated, what followed was a very dramatic emergency c-section! Although as he was leading with his feet this clearly means he will love football… Being premature we spent a week in hospital as he was jaundice, coming home to Poppy our cat and Barney our dog was just incredible.

Zac was most likely premature because I had Hyperemesis although no one warned us that may happen! The pregnancy is something I am getting my head around and hoping to raise some much needed awareness for the condition of Hyperemesis, I get a lot of messages about it and have written about my experience on the Pregnancy Sickness Support website. The first 19 weeks of pregnancy I was hospital and bed bound, it was a complete shock and incredibly difficult. Since Zac has been here I’ve felt very lucky, if a little tired! Everyone tells you it’s a love like no other and they’re not wrong. For the first time in forever I’ve not known all the football scores or who is making waves in the championship. In the last few weeks that newborn fog has started lifting and I intend to be back doing a few games before the end of the season as part of my “Keeping in touch” maternity days. Zac’s colic we think is improving so we can try and take in more of the football without wondering what the commentators are saying while he screams, and soon enough I will leave him with his Dad on a Saturday. I’m nervous but also excited to get back to it, after all it is a big part of my identity and I adore my job. Soccer Saturday have been fantastic and I’ve had a chat about returning. They were wonderful when I was pregnant too, accommodating for my rather sizeable bump not being able to negotiate all the gantries.

We’ve already taken Zac to his first game, Bristol City beating Luton 3.0 in December. It made me miss it, and although I’ve not wanted to be anywhere else but with Zac I think I will be ready to get the headphones back on and also start my writing and podcast again. Naturally my number one priority is to be Zac’s Mum, but alongside that I hope I can make him proud working again. I’m so full of admiration for parents, working Mums and Dads and single parents I am in absolute awe of you. It’s hard work this parenting lark, much harder work than sitting on a cold gantry reporting the football! Now excuse me while I work out if he wants some milk, a cuddle or if there’s a big outgoing transfer to deal with…

Hello! Thank you for popping by. My name is Michelle, I am a sports presenter and reporter. I mainly work for Sky Sports but also host podcasts and report for Radio 5 Live. This is my new blog, Media Mumma! Media Mummy was taken and we like to think our dog Barney and cat Poppy below call me Mumma…you can already tell this blog may not be that normal…

In the last few months our lives have taken on another focus with the impending arrival of our first baby! This blog is going to be all about the little one, balancing being a freelance Mum and how we find it…because right now, we have no idea what is in store! It hasn’t been a straightforward pregnancy so I am also keen to raise some awareness about a few things too.

Please check back soon, I intend to write about all sorts from work to baby to finding our feet as new parents. We are both freelance- so this could be interesting!